I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
