she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
