why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
