You can't special order awesome
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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