who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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