I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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