Tell her she can't have a vagina
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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