My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
