Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
