You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
