Sry I called you an 8
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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