I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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