Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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