I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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