I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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