Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
