He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
