I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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