we have officially lost it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
