My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't notice because vodka
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
