she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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