Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
