The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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