Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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