so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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