Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
