I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
