I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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