ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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