Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
