Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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