i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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