can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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