I need help removing her.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
