WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
