just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
