Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize