Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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