Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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