Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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