mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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