Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Farmville is her only friend.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
