I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
