I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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