I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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