people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Someone signed my nipple.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
