Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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