Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
the raccoons are back...
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