Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
