Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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