He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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