i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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