My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize