Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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