okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
