chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
high people should be assigned attendants
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
