You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were trust falling into bushes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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