Me too!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You've changed since you got that strap on
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