so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
