Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
