I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
