Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
