her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
