Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
