ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
...so i touched it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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