I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you didnt know i had herpes?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
